Sex, Drugs, & Rock N Roll Part 2

It wasn’t too surprising that the guy who ended up with my heart was an aspiring rock star. Music had become a passion, and anyone involved in that world had instant points in my book. He was all about metal, but with me he was gentle and sensitive. His crew was decked out with leather vests and patches, chains and long hair. It was a world that I had been in for a while, but at the same time it was totally different. They were playing at bars, moshing to other local bands, and practicing in garages. It was just like the movies! Old couches set up in the back for the girls. I was learning how to set up amps and mics. Carrying gear and weighing in on how a song turned out. Hanging out at guitar shops and record stores after practice. It was all about living in the moment and living to have a good time.

From the first time we met in person we both knew that there was no way we couldn’t see where this thing we had was gonna go. The firework show was out of this world from the very beginning! I felt comfortable letting go completely and he made it worth it! He is passionate about everything he does and that includes me! This was the time my sexual exploration was at its peak, and it was during this time that I realized I wasn’t just into men… we were inviting other women to join us in the bedroom which wasn’t just benefiting me. He introduced me to kink and BDSM, I quickly figured out that impact play was a huge turn on! Role play and costumes were regular additions to our bedroom. He was into wrestling so that naturally found its way into the bedroom too… we broke more than one bed frame with those games. He put a spell on me and it was the same for him. I was told many times by friends that the way he looked at me is something all women want and that I was lucky to have someone so devoted. This was especially meaningful because we were still dating long distance at this point. Even though we were hours apart we spent every single weekend together.

After about 5 months of dating, I started making plans to find an apartment with a girl that I had become pretty close to. It was getting harder to maintain the long-distance relationship. I wanted to be closer to him, but it was still a bit early for us to move in together. I started putting in applications for jobs in the area, and went on a few interviews. We even found an apartment that was close to her job. Things were starting to look promising, but then I got a call from her one evening. She told me that she was enlisting in the military and that she would be heading out to basic training in a couple months. Our plans were no longer going to be an option for her. That was a tough pill to swallow, why didn’t she tell me that this was something she was thinking about before we started making all these plans? Not only did I have my heart set on being closer to my man, but he wanted me there just as badly. So what did he do? He asked me to move in with him. I was a little hesitant about the idea, we hadn’t even been dating for a year. Even though my mind was filled with reasons why it was a bad idea, my heart was ready to jump in with no question. I said yes, and in 2 weeks he came up to help me pack my things, said goodbye to my friends and family and caravanned everything I owned the 4 hours back to his apartment. My parents were not happy about the idea, I mean… I can see why looking back, it was not the most planned out move. They were convinced I was pregnant and trying to just run away again. In my mind it was totally different though, I wasn’t moving to get away from them. I was moving because I wanted to be with the person I loved the most.

He had a pretty decent day job at a factory where he inspected commercial and military aircraft parts for defects. The pay was good for the time. It allowed him to live on his own, and maintain a lifestyle that he was passionate about. His apartment was a small one bedroom, the rent was cheap and when it was just him it was fine. Most of the time he was only there to sleep anyway.  It was in a pretty sketchy part of town, explaining the low rent. It was a bit of a culture shock moment for me though! I was coming from a small farm town in the country where people left their doors unlocked all the time. Here there were multiple locks and chains on the door. People even had gas caps on their cars with locks. Back home I would walk town by myself at night and not think twice about my safety, not the case where I was now! One of the first nights there I remember seeing a couple sitting on a bench, they were holding hands and the guy was rubbing the girl’s head. I thought it was adorable, but I guess I was staring too long and the girl shot up and started coming after me screaming “what the fuck are you looking at, what the fuck are you looking at bitch?” I didn’t know what to do, she was in my face and ready to start shit. I tried to explain, but it didn’t matter at that point. My boyfriend stepped between us and at that point she backed off. She started walking away but still shouting at me “keep your mother fucking eyes to yourself next time!”

I will never in my life forget the downstairs neighbor we had at that apartment. She was absolutely terrifying! When I was moving my stuff in, she started banging on the walls and screaming at us to shut the fuck up. Eventually she came out of her front door and told us that we need to keep it down because the noise was upsetting her dogs… I never saw her with any dogs… ever! We politely apologized for any inconvenience and explained that we are doing our best to stay quiet, but we are moving stuff in and it would be a little while before we were done. We were permanently labeled “white devils” the rest of the time we were there, that is the only way she would ever address us. We would walk out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and then the next thing we knew there was a bang on our door “if you white devils wake me up one more time I swear to God there is going to be blood!” I got very good at carrying all the groceries in one go because if you made more than one trip you ran the risk of her swinging the door open and threaten to silence you for good as she chased you up the stairs. She liked to make it known that she had been to prison and she was not afraid to go back. I can’t tell you how many times we had the police called on us. It got to the point where they all knew us and the lady downstairs. I really don’t know why she kept calling them because it aways ended the same way, all of us standing outside with the cops while she politely apologized to them for all the trouble and them telling us to do our best to keep the noise down.

I will admit that there were times that we messed with her on purpose. Like the time we were coming back from seeing Sevendust. We were completely shitfaced and riding high because we got to meet them after the show. Lajon Witherspoon (the singer) went on a rant about Star Wars, he pulled out his phone and showed us he had a light saber app. Having a famous rocker swing around a purple light saber app for a good minute, then suddenly stopping because he realizes he was getting too into it in front of fans is a not something you forget! See we had a bet going with one of our friends who refused to watch the movies. He didn’t believe that Lajon would be a space nerd, so we made a deal with him. If Lajon had in fact seen the movies that he would have to sit and marathon all the movies at once. Anyway once we got back to the apartment, we decided to continue the party. She didn’t like that and started banging on the walls. So we decided to start matching her banging with jumping up and down on the floor. Oh if only I had that woman’s profanities recorded that night!!!

The other neighbors in our building weren’t nearly as bad. The apartment across from us had an unknown number of Hispanic construction workers living there. We didn’t really see or hear them, but they kept their work boots in the hallway, so we always knew when they were home. The family underneath them was a single mom with 5 kids under the age of 10. I’m not really sure what the story was there but there was a lot of yelling and crying coming from that apartment. It definitely seemed like a chaotic situation. I always thought it was interesting how the crazy lady downstair never seemed to care about all the noise coming from the people across from her, but could take the time to call the police on us.

It wasn’t just the people living there that was the problem. The plumbing in the entire complex was crap! Days would go by where we would have nothing but drips of water coming out of the sinks and shower. We had to buy bottled water just to be able to flush our toilet when the water wasn’t flowing. The property manager was tired of people complaining about it, apparently there was nothing she could do because it was a city issue. When I first moved down there I was working a few retail and restaurant jobs just to make ends meet but eventually I got a job at a hotel working the front desk. I really enjoyed the work because the guests staying there were typically staying for more than a week for whatever reason. I got to form relationships with them, that was where I really got a handle of face-to-face customer service skills. The pay was terrible and there were no traditional benefits, but there were under the table benefits. I didn’t have to worry about not being able to take a shower when the water wasn’t working at home. We didn’t have to worry about not having clean clothes because I was able to use the commercial machines to wash them. I would bring home trash bags full of the food and beverages that were getting close to date from the complimentary breakfast. During those times we ate a lot of bagels, muffins, and close to date yogurt. I’d bring home milk cartons, bottles of juice, and fruit when I got the chance. When times were really tight, I also had regular access to toilet paper, paper towels, coffee, and personal care products.

After about a year living in that hell hole I had enough! We had to move!! I was determined to find an apartment in a better area that we could afford. There were plenty of decent apartments in the area, but we were broke and couldn’t afford the more upscale places. Mostly because our money was being spent on booze, festivals, concerts, and partying. I finally came across a townhouse that was in our price range! We stopped in to meet the property manager and after talking with her for about an hour we were signing a lease!!! It was a huge upgrade for us, going from a 1 br apartment with no water to a 2 br, 2 ba townhouse. I was a happy girl! That place would be our home for the next few years. That place quickly became the hang out spot for all our friends. It had a large open floor plan and multiple bathrooms. We had an extra bedroom and couches so people could crash whenever they wanted.

Our neighbors were awesome, they were like adoptive parents to us but would come over and party with us all the time. I think they found the shenanigans of all these white metal heads really amusing, they were always laughing and shaking their heads at us. We definitely provided plenty of stories for them I’m sure lol! Like the time we came home from a KISS concert, we were all decked out with face paint and drunk out of our minds. Everyone that went to the concert come back to our place to continue the party. Well there was a kid that one of our friends brought that no one really knew who he was… let’s just say he was a mess! He ended up getting black out drunk, eventually he got up from the couch, walked into our kitchen picked up a full handle of Jack Daniels and smashed it on the floor. Then he proceeded to drop his pants and just started pissing all over the shattered glass and liquor. Our neighbors were laughing their asses off, I was ready to beat the shit out of him because I knew I was going to be the one cleaning up his piss, and everyone else was bitching about the guy wasting all that whiskey.

I started working the night audit shift at the hotel, they offered a few extra dollars as shift differential so I figured it would be a good way to get a little extra money. My boyfriend was also working over nights for his job and I figured it was be nice to be on the same schedule. Things were fine for a while, but the overnight shift started to become a problem for me. I wasn’t really able to get enough sleep. Between band practices and shows in the evenings and regular intoxication, maintaining any sort of sleep schedule was not there. I tried talking to my boss to see if there was any way that we could work out a rotating schedule. So I wasn’t always having to work the night shift, but he wasn’t willing to work with me on that. So I continued to deal with it, eventually my work started slipping, I wasn’t getting all the laundry done for the housekeepers, I was taking long breaks, getting short with the customers. My boss told me that if things don’t improve there would be disciplinary action taken. I once again explained that a schedule change would be really beneficial to my performance, but he didn’t want to hear it. The final nail in my coffin was being caught sleeping on the job. Look, I know that was wrong… but I was tired and honestly pissed off that my boss was being a prick. I stopped caring about the job, I showed up, did the bare minimum, and if there was nothing else to do I took a nap in an empty room after delivering the bills under the doors to the next morning checkouts. I got caught because I forgot to take the cordless phone with me one night. Any time you left the desk you have to forward the Front desk lines to the cordless so you didn’t miss a call. Well a woman was trying to checkout early in the middle of the night and no one was there to help her… and that was the end of that job.

A few months later, going into the last quarter of 2009. My boyfriend’s company started a round of layoffs because the government contracts they had were slowly drying up. He had been with the company for over five years which was just enough to get him through. There were rumors of another round coming, but the executives were assuring the floor workers that they were going to do everything possible to prevent that. Then in the beginning of 2010 the second round of layoffs hit, and he didn’t make it through this time. They gave him a decent severance and he was able to collect unemployment too. He took it really hard, and a pretty rough depression kicked in. He wasn’t motivated to do anything except drink and eat. Since we were both unemployed and home all day together that is pretty much how I was spending my time doing too. Tension was high, we were both stressed, depressed, and didn’t know how to fix our situation.

Music to the rescue! His all-time favorite band Motorhead was on tour in the US again. We had seen them a few years before with Judas Priest, but this was going to be at a much smaller venue so the chances of getting to meet them were much better. If there was going to be anything that could get him out of his funk it would be getting a chance to meet his idol. The show was great, we were right in front of the stage. We were on the left side of the stage in front of the guitarist. He noticed us singing along and threw up his devil horns to acknowledge it. A few minutes later the guy standing next to me was getting really creepy. I know I was wearing a very revealing top… but he was like deadlock staring at my chest. I look down and there was a pick in my boobs!! The guitarist flicked his pick into my cleavage… that was just too fucking baller! After the show, we waited by the tour bus for a chance to meet and greet with the band for a bit. The first one to come out was the drummer, we got pictures and chatted for a bit. Then the guitarist came out, he remembered me! He thought it was cute that I didn’t realize what he did right away. I got him to sign the pick obviously. Then Lemmy came out, and my boyfriend turned into the biggest fangirl I have ever seen!!! I literally had to push him up to the guy and tell him to say hello haha! The picture we have of the two of them cracks me up because they both have the exact same face… the where the fuck am I look.

I wouldn’t say that was the turning point for either of us, but in a few short months the snowball of change would start rolling whether we were ready for it or not. Life was never so carefree after that point.

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